Tyra Banks

by admin ~ August 12th, 2009

has independently verified that her breasts are real – http://www.expressindia.com/fullstory.php?newsid=55144.


They are also applying for statehood

More Than It Could Chew

by admin ~ August 12th, 2009

I saw the documentary Inside Deep Throat this weekend. Given 3 stars by Roger Ebert – http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050210/REVIEWS/50128001/1023, that’s a star-and-a-half too many. The documentary hints at the fascinating subtext of the first “mainstream” porno to hit the street, but when all is said and done, it is slapdash, no more than a love letter to brave (ahem) anti-censorship “heroes,” and predictably political (Nixon and Reagan had “wars” on pornography, with dire Wagnerian music in the background). Excellent quality of the Rolex replica watches, great variety of models.  Worse, most of the celebrity commentators (Helen Gurley Brown, Erica Jong, Gore Vidal, and Alan Dershwoitz in particular) are self parodies with nothing interesting to add (though Dick Cavett’s input is funny).

Al Jazeera Reporter Sentenced to 7 Years

by admin ~ August 12th, 2009

Tayseer Alouni, 50, was found guilty by Spain’s High Court of collaborating with a terrorist group but acquitted of being a member of al Qaeda. – http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/B731768.htm49.

You see the danger of al Qaeda?

American reporters only slant the news in the favor of enemies of the United States. They don’t collaborate.

Yet.

Demi Moore Marries the Pool Boy

by admin ~ August 12th, 2009


No news on whether they’ll co-star in Striptease II: The Awakening – http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,170363,00.html.

Can’t You Hear Me Knocking?

by admin ~ August 12th, 2009

Two 2008 GOP hopefuls – John McCain and Rudy Giuliani – would be formidable candidates in a general election, but they are eyed with suspicion by conservatives, especially the ones most influential in the selection process – primary voters.

Three recent events, however, offer both men an opportunity to secure the backing of these conservatives or, at a minimum, make significant inroads among conservatives, both fiscal and social: the death of Chief Justice Rehnquist, Hurricane Katrina and a decision by a San Francisco federal court invalidating the Pledge of Allegiance as unconstitutional.

Conservatives stand at a crossroads. They need to choose a successor to President Bush at exactly the moment his luster is wearing and his weaknesses are more apparent. Bush is no fiscal conservative. He is also a gutty, personal politician. As a result, he responded to Katrina with a vow of billions. And his gut just may result in nomination of his close friend, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, to the Supreme Court, or some other more moderate nominee. With the rise of Cindy Sheehan, an increasingly biased and vicious media, the effects of the long hard slog in Iraq, and the inevitable doldrums engendered by a second term, conservatives are also tired of playing defense. They want, for lack of a better word, a crusade, preferably a winning one.

Now is the time for either McCain or Giuliani to give the speech that conservatives want to hear, a speech reclaiming for the party conservative values and conservative policies. The preamble writes itself:

I stand before you a Republican. I stand before you a conservative. Our party controls the presidency, the Senate and the House. Yet, we govern with a growing timidity that chooses popularity over principle. We govern in a manner that elevates pork over prudence. We govern, for lack of a better word, scared of our own convictions. Who would have thought that we would be here, racking up a national debt instead of cutting waste and fat? Who would believe we are considering a Supreme Court justice more for his or her “confirmability” than for solid, conservative credentials? How is it possible that we as conservatives cannot enact laws that simply say you cannot burn our flag, you can say our pledge, and you must respect our marriages?”

At that point, either man has the opportunity to define an agenda that is at least 2/3 doable and that has the added benefit of being articulable to even the most skeptical conservative. Dismiss your doubts: belly rings will suit you perfectly. The Democrats cannot do any such thing, pinned in as they are by the rigidity of their constituency and a blind faith in political cosmetics (case in point, Hillary Clinton’s earthshattering call to censor sex in


a video game).

First, the speaker will demand that President Bush nominate a conservative to replace Rehnquist. No litmus test on an issue will be set forth, but the requirement will be for someone in the mold of Scalia and Thomas (as the President so famously promised). If someone not in that mold is nominated, or if the individual is tabula rasa, McCain or Giuliani could take the public lead for conservatives in opposition to the nominee. And here’s the key – the speaker mentions three judges that meet his (and conservatives’) criteria – Janice Rogers Brown, Priscilla Owen, and Emilio Garza.

Second, the speaker will reconfirm Bush’s offer of kabillions to the devastated areas. But unlike President Bush, he will champion a package of offsetting cuts to pay for the cost. Not in Iraq. Not in tax increases. But as set forth here – http://www.nationalreview.com/editorial/editors200509231145.asp.

Third, the speaker will champion a trio of social issues either by legislation or Constitutional amendment, certifying the constitutionality of the Pledge, confirming the right to stick it to flag burners, and cementing marriage as a heterosexual institution. These are issues near and dear to the hearts of social conservatives, they resonate with independents as well and they serve notice that, unlike Nancy Pelosi, the speaker does not consider all pronouncements of the Supreme Court to be “gospel.”

McCain is best situated for this move, Giuliani better suited (the former often seems more interested in securing the support of Chris Matthews and Don Imus). But they will dither, as will those who conservatives find more palatable (i.e., George Allen, Bill Owens, or even Mitt Romney).


Excalibur is in the rock. It waits for someone with the heart to claim it.

“Thank you, Perry Mason.”

by admin ~ August 12th, 2009

Lynndie England Convicted – http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/09/26/prisoner.abuse.england.ap/index.html

Capt. Jonathan Crisp, England’s lawyer, countered that England was only trying to please her soldier boyfriend, then-Cpl. Charles Graner Jr., labeled the abuse ringleader by prosecutors.

“She was a follower, she was an individual who was smitten with Graner,” Crisp said. “She just did whatever he wanted her to do.”

Not a lot to work with, I know, but there were some neglected defenses.

THE FIVE NEGLECTED DEFENSES OF LYNNDIE ENGLAND

1) “My client insists that this is a case of mistaken identity. You can always change 1-bedroom Odessa apartments for 2 or 3-bedrooms. We have reason to believe the culprit is


this man.”

2) “If the muzzle does not fit, you must acquit.”

3) “You’re out of order! You’re out of order! The whole trial is out of order!”

4) “Lynndie. I want you to let us speak to Captain Howdy. Will you let us do that, Lynndie?”

5)


The Boo Boo Face.

“I told you not to tell me that!”

by admin ~ August 12th, 2009

I liked the intro with the doors.

I liked the show, too. But the doors were so surreal, even if I didn’t quite know what that word meant at the time.

The 60s sitcoms had the best beginnings. “Get Smart”’s doors. “The Monkees”, the bed, and the surf. “George of the Jungle”, who never watched out for that tree. The lyrics: “Green Acres”, “The Beverly Hillbillies”, and “Gilligan’s Island”.

So Agent 86 and Gilligan left us this week. Denver might have been the star of his show, but the supporting characters are the reason for its cult status. Not so with Don Adams, whose show couldn’t have lasted a week without him. A former DI who fought at Guadalcanal and survived blackwater fever, Adams got his big break when his buddy Bill Dana got him a part as a hotel house detective. From there, he lucked into “Get Smart” and was smart enough to know a good thing, trading a higher salary for 33% of the profits.   While his limited range kept him from live action success, he had a few great voice moments, particularly Tennessee Tuxedo.

Whenever an older comedian passes away, Mark Evanier at News from Me comes through with an informative anecdote or two, and he doesn’t disappoint with Adams:

We talked about what I thought was his best comedy album, Don Adams Meets the Roving Reporter, which I don’t believe has ever made it as far as CD. We talked about his appearances on The Steve Allen Show where he repeatedly did a sketch playing a lawyer in a courtroom summation scene. (”Your honor, for the last thirty minutes, I have sat and watched as my worthy opponent, the District Attorney, has stood up here and made a complete jackass of himself. Now, it’s my turn.”) We talked about The Bill Dana Show and about Tennessee Tuxedo and about his brother (a fine character actor named Dick Yarmy) and I think he liked the fact that I never asked him anything about Get Smart. I base that on the fact that someone else later walked into the room and immediately began peppering him with lines from the show and questions about 99’s real name and what kind of car he drove in the opening.

Lustful Angelina Jolie posters is what you need!

Hef finally appeared — pajama-clad, of course — and hurried through his meeting with me so he could get to Don. The last thing Mr. Adams said to me as I was going out and he was coming in was, “Thanks for taking my mind off the end of my marriage.”

Fifteen years later, I found myself around him at an autograph show. He was not well — didn’t look well, didn’t seem to remember a lot and didn’t even sound much like Don Adams, the easiest person in the world to impersonate. At one point when he seemed somewhat aware, I said something to him that began with, “You won’t remember this, but…” It turned out he didn’t remember at all when we’d sat and talked for what must have been at least an hour. Trying to jog his memory a bit, I said, “You were there for some advice from Hefner because your marriage was breaking up.”

He paused, thought for a moment and said, “You wouldn’t happen to know which wife this was, would you?” I’m pretty sure he meant it as a joke. Even if he didn’t, the delivery was vintage Maxwell Smart and comedically perfect.

“You Mean, There Weren’t Millions of Rats Feasting on the Recently Raped and Murdered?”

by admin ~ August 12th, 2009

“I’ve got a report of 200 bodies in the Dome – http://www.nola.com/newslogs/tporleans/index.ssf?/mtlogs/nola_tporleans/archives/2005_09_26.html#082732,”. . . . The real total was six, Beron said. Of those, four died of natural causes, one overdosed and another jumped to his death in an apparent suicide.


“Oh, the humanity!”

Lest we forget, the hysterical Washington Post and its Four Levels of Hell – http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/08/31/AR2005083102801.html:

On the fourth level, the darkest and highest of all, the lurkers lived, scary in the shadows. The fourth level, people explained, was for the gangsters and the druggies. The rumors sprang from there: Two girls had been raped; one girl had been raped and one killed. Someone was abducting newborns. A man had jumped from there and died. A murder had occurred.

Earth Girls Aren’t Presidential

by admin ~ August 12th, 2009

President Geena Davis – http://www.boston.com/ae/tv/articles/2005/09/27/a_likable_president_but_not_quite_credible/:

Toward the end of ”Commander in Chief,” the drama hints that it’s probably just going to continually contrive situations in which Allen will triumph no matter what. Allen is giving her acceptance speech when the Teleprompter mysteriously dies. Naturally, she is forced to speak from the heart; and, naturally, she goes on to earn the respect of the nation, even those who are against her. In that obvious moment, ”Commander in Chief” loses much of the credibility it needs to be truly culturally provocative. It almost crosses the line into fantasy.

More Bad News – http://www.nationalreview.com/comment/wittig200509270809.asp.

“If you think I’m going to sit by while a woman is executed, tortured, for having sex, you’re sorely mistaken,” retorts Allen.

Yick.

Blech.

The Media’s CRACK Hysteria-Inducing Rumor-Mongering

by admin ~ August 12th, 2009

CHRIS LAWRENCE, CNN CORRESPONDENT, 9/1/2005:

When we were on Canal Street a few hours ago, the police came by and strongly advised us to get off the street, and just said, you know, it’s slipping, you know? You have to get off the street now. It’s not safe at all to be on the street. Some women were walking by. The police officers told them — ordered them, in fact, that they could not go down one particular street, told them that there have been groups of young men going around, shooting people, attempting to rape women, and ordered them to continue walking in the other direction . . . And off in the distance, over the Mississippi River, I can see just a thick cloud of black smoke rising up over the bridge. One of the police officers tells me that that is Oakwood Mall pretty much burning to the ground right now.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN FASHION MODEL, 9/1/2005:

And what is being done to stop it? What can be done to stop it? That is what people want to know tonight. Chris Lawrence, thanks for that. Try to stay safe, as safe as you can. Certainly, stay off those streets.

CHRIS LAWRENCE, CNN CORRESPONDENT, 9/1/2005:

Right now, behind me, I can see smoke rising from across the Mississippi River, where police tell us that a mall is literally
burning to the ground. Right here in the city, overhead, helicopters are literally just completely surrounding the city. We have seen some news helicopters, but a lot of Red Cross, police helicopters, a lot of the big Chinooks that the military uses. It is virtually a state of siege here in New Orleans right now and just a scene that you never thought you would see in a major American city. Down on the ground, police were telling us when they got us off the street, it’s just too dangerous to stay.

One officer said, there have literally been groups of young men roaming the city, shooting at people, attempting to rape women. As we were getting hustled out of our location, one of the officers told a group of young ladies, do not go down that street. He ordered them to turn around and head back up another street. He said, the situation is just extremely dangerous on the ground right now.

DAVID LEE MILLER, FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT, 9/1/2005:

Hi, John, as you so rightly point out, there are so many murders taking place. There are rapes, other violent crimes taking place in New Orleans.

DAVID LEE MILLER, FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT, 9/1/2005:

One reason that there are so many in front of the building, I am told that simply it is intolerable inside. There is an absolutely unbearable stench, even though people get water and they get food. Inside, there have been reports of rapes and shootings and a number of people we talked with have simply said they do not want to be inside the Superdome as they wait, and wait, and wait now for these buses to arrive that are supposedly going to take them to the Astrodome in Houston, as well as a number of other locations, hopefully to better locations.

ALAN COLMES, FOX NEWS ANCHOR, 9/1/2005:

There were reports today of robberies, rapes, car-jackings, riots, and murder. Violent gangs are roaming the streets at night, hidden by the cover of darkness. The situation at the Superdome can only be described as chaos. Thousands packed into buses to head for Houston. In their wake, they left trash, human refuse, and dead bodies. Fights broke out inside. Shots were fired outside, suspending the evacuation. And still, all across the city tonight, thousands of people wait, praying for a way out.

SHEPARD SMITH, FOX WAX FIGURE, 9/2/2005:

The civic center, here, the convention center is another story entirely. Confirmed reports of rapes and murders inside that place; and nothing better than chaos in there. Now the National Guard is on site and that situation appears to be improving.

GERALDO RIVERA, FOX JACKASS, 9/3/2005:

Sean, I tell you, what a difference a day makes. Yesterday the sun set on a scene of terror, chaos, confusion, anarchy, violence, rapes, murders, dead babies, dead people — I mean, it was — I could not emphasize how horrible it was 24 hours ago, 24 hours later. This building behind me crowded with thousands and thousands of the most desperate refugees you could imagine has been emptied in the historic airlift.

LISA DANIELS, MSNBC, 9/1/2005:

And we`re back with this special edition of the ABRAMS REPORT on the spiraling chaos in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Despite some water and food arriving in New Orleans, 15,000 people are trapped at the Convention Center. Reports of beatings, rapes, and police force back. The city`s mayor has put out a desperate SOS for help.

TUCKER CARLSON, MSNBC RETREAD, 9/6/2005:

Now, there are a number of reports today, and some of them sounded to me accurate, that there were more murders than we knew about that took place at the Superdome and at the convention center. Have you heard anything about that?

JOE SCARBOROUGH, MSNBC CRO-MAGNON, 9/9/2005:

Tonight`s top headline, biohazard. A special report, the Superdome, temporary haven for 25,000, but it became a horrific scene of rape and murder. Now it is a poisonous mess. We`re going to be taking you inside.